Sludgie

McCain Chooses VP Who Has Boldly Defended The Right Of Polar Bears To Go Extinct

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:11:52 -0800

Allowing a full twelve hours to pass after the Democratic Convention’s dust settled before making his announcement, Republican prez nominee John McCain released the name of his running mate this morning: Alaska’s governor Sarah Palin. McCain praised her for her buck-the-system approach to local politics during her rather short stint as governor. And shrewdly eyeing those potential Hillary-minded swing votes, he added, “Did I also mention she has a vagina?” During her two years as governor, Palin, the very second female to appear on a major party ticket, has “lobbied aggressively to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling, pushed for more drilling off of Alaska’s coasts, and put special interests above science.” Which isn’t a big surprise from a self-proclaimed creationist, for whom “science” apparently holds fairly little sway. Most recently, Palin, whose husband, by complete and totally, utterly, utter coincidence, works for the oil industry, sued the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to get polar bears taken off the Endangered Species list. Sued that tree-hugging hippie George W. Bush for going soft on polar bears. Palin prefers the tough-love, “growing up in a literally melting habitat with your food supply rapidly disappearing gives you bears a little character” attitude. Even without her running mate being the oldest in American history, having this person a breath away from the executive office is a little scary. But at least she might help give “moose burgers” the heretofore completely unrealized popularity in the continental states they’ve so richly deserved. Shocking Choice by John McCain, Says Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund (WSJ)

Sludgie Supports Online "Buzz" To Save Bees

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:38:43 -0800

So what exactly is killing all of the honey bees? There were a lot of theories floating around last summer, but nothing concrete came out of it. And while we still don't know what exactly is wrong, there is a name for this epidemic: Colony Collapse Disorder. Factors that contribute to the disappearance of bees include viruses, mites and chemical exposure. Two of my favorite things in the world have joined forces to save the honey bees: ice cream and hot breakdancing boys. Häagen-Dazs has released this super sweet viral video of a dancing "Bee Boy" to promote their new site, Help the Honey Bees: BEST FUN FACT EVER: "When a honey bee returns to the hive after finding a good source of nectar, it will perform a unique dance for its hive mates, detailing the distance, quality and quantity of the new food supply." That's pretty darn cute. Be sure to visit this adorable site from Häagen-Dazs; it has plenty of ways that you can take action to help save the honey bees. And since we're all thinking it, I will just post this and save you the extra trip to YouTube: Help the Honey Bees (Häagen-Dazs) The Bee Boy Crew (Neatorama)

Cheney Erases Climate Change - Literally

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:47:04 -0800

A formal Environmental Protection Agency official recently informed Congress that U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney's office has been using the “delete” key to their advantage. Last year, they reportedly edited a testimony by the Centers for Disease Control at length to diminish negative public health effects of climate change. Jason Burnett, formerly an EPA associate deputy administrator, wrote a letter to U.S. Senate Environment and Public Works Committee Chairman Barbara Boxer (D., Calif.) claiming that, "the Council on Environmental Quality and the Office of the Vice President were seeking deletions to the CDC testimony." This is not the first time that the Bush Administration has been accused of keeping information regarding the dangers of climate change away from the public. Most recently, the White House's Office of Management and Budget asked the EPA to delete sections of a document regarding the dangers of greenhouse gas emissions. Sen. Boxer is not taking these allegations lightly, and claims she will hold a July 22 hearing regarding the dangers of global warming. Cheney has more than likely assigned a few interns to pull fire alarms, call in bomb threats and bang on the window like Ben in The Graduate. Cheney Sought To Alter Climate Discussion (The Wall Street Journal)

Happy 4th!

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:14:15 -0800

The Onion always touches on the issues that really matter to America.

Real Ecological Mass Suicide Lacks Flimsy M. Night Shyamalan Twist Ending

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 21:06:26 -0800

This can’t be good. Twenty-six dolphins who have been found dead on a British coastline appear to have “committed suicide”, according to a leading scientist. Instead of using power tools and lying down in front of lawn mowers ala The Happening, the dolphins have chosen the less cinematic but very unpleasant sounding death-by-eating-too-much-garbage-and-mud. “Very bizarre indeed” is how veterinary wildlife pathologist Vic Simpson described it, which I assume is British scientist-speak for “This is totally fucking freaky and horrifying.” The dolphins left no suicide note, nor had they been writing a lot of gloomy poetry about photographs in the rain and the sound of flowers crying. So the lingering question scientists can’t seem to answer is, why? But the news isn’t all bad. It’s also worse: ScienceDaily reports that ocean temperatures have increased 50 percent more due to global warming than previous climate models suggested. Remember Al Gore and his power point presentation of doom and destruction? Well, that was the optimistic version. Dolphins Found Dead Off Cornish Coast 'Committed Suicide' (Daily Mail) Ocean Temperatures And Sea Level Increases 50 Percent Higher Than Previously Estimated (ScienceDaily)

Polar Bears Protected, Habitat Not So Much

Tue, 27 May 2008 11:12:43 -0800

On May 15, the Bush Administration announced that polar bears may now be listed as "threatened" under the Endangered Species Act. Unfortunately, Congress is insisting that the new laws aren't abused to affect other related issues such as, oh, protecting WHERE POLAR BEARS LIVE. While it may seem like a no-brainer (and don't worry, it still will after I explain), this new protection from the ESA is controversial because this is the first time an animal has needed protection from extinction because of global warming. It's totally different than normal extinction, you guys. As we mentioned earlier this year, the Bush Administration pushed back a January 9 deadline regarding the polar bears' protection, conveniently moving up an approval for oil drilling in their habitat worth almost $3 billion. "Essentially, the administration is giving a gift to Big Oil, and short shrift to the polar bear," said Rep. Edward J. Markey, D-Massachusetts. Polar bears use ice caps to catch and eat seals that, scientist Steve Amstrup explains, "are kind of like giant 'fat pills' that have allowed polar bears to become the largest of the bears and to expand across the range of the sea ice." The good news is that without these "fat pills", polar bears will be leaner and therefore able to swim farther and tolerate warmer climates. Because that's what they're going to have to do. Because THEIR HOME IS MELTING. And hey, since no one is protecting the polar ice caps, maybe we can focus on body-image counseling for those poor seals and some sensitivity training for Steve. How would you like being called a "fat pill?" Words hurt, Steve. Polar Bear Now Listed As 'Threatened' Species (CNN)

An Earth Day Miracle!

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:01:20 -0800

I don't know about you, but this warms my heart in a weird, weird way: That’s right, two of our “national treasures” – Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson – have teamed up for the fight against climate change. Who could bring these two together for a common cause? Jesus? Mr. Monopoly? Bono? Nope – Captain Planet himself, Al Gore. This is the first of a multi-million dollar ad campaign by Gore's nonprofit agency, the Alliance for Climate Protection. “It's just common sense that we ought to be good stewards of the environment and do everything within our power to protect this fragile planet that we all live on,” say Robertson of his surprising appearance. Future ads will feature awesome pairings such as Toby Keith and the Dixie Chicks and Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich. Now, we can't all make pigs fly like Al Gore, but there are plenty of ways you can celebrate Earth Day, as well as keep the planet clean year-round. Click the links to find Earth Day events in your area and environmental tips. And if that video truly ooked you out, I apologize. Watch this gem from the Discovery Channel instead and be sure to sing along: HAPPY EARTH DAY, EVERYBODY! Gore Announces 3-Year Campaign Against Global Warming (AP) I Love The World (Neatorama)

Bush Tests Waters With Climate Change Action (But Makes Sure To Wear His Floaties)

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:56:55 -0800

Well... it's a start. On Monday, the White House met with a group of GOP conservatives to discuss supporting a limited cap on greenhouse gasses, among other climate change proposals. However, the idea was poorly received. What are they so afraid of (besides admitting they're wrong)? Senior White House officials and Republican lawmakers fear an oncoming "train wreck" of climate change regulations. These include recent pressure to enforce the Clean Air Act and protect polar bears under the Endangered Species Act. The White House press secretary says the idea of dealing with all three issues at once is "fraught with peril." Peril? Like what, a jammed copier from all of the paper work? Happy dancing hippies? An onslaught of baby polar bear videos that are too cute to handle? Senate debates on legislation for capping greenhouse gas emissions will begin in June. The House is drafting legislation of their own. So whether the GOP bails or not, something should hopefully happen this year. And hey, if they decide to support a mandatory cap-and-trade proposal, then hell has officially frozen over and the planet should cool off quite a bit. So, win win. Bush Floating New Climate Proposal (AP)

New Fish Crawls Out of Crevice and Into Our Nightmares

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:37:11 -0800

A new species of fish has been discovered off the coast of Indonesia that would rather crawl then swim. Oh, you know what else is crawling? My skin. The fish is part of the Anglerfish family, famous for their leg-like appendages and lures that grow out of their forehead, which they like to wiggle. *shudder* This new species does not have the lure - THANK GOD - but it does have something even creepier: human-like binocular vision. "With its unusual flattened face, the fish's eyes appear to be directed forward, something [Ted] Pietsch says he's never seen in 40 years as an ichthyologist, a scientist who studies the structure, classification and habits of fishes." You hear that, guys? IT IS WATCHING YOU. Sure, sure - this could potentially lead to the discovery of entirely new species and change the way that science looks at the ocean. However, this could also lead to creatures climbing out of the sea to storm Manhattan and eat my gorgeous grandchildren. Seriously, I thought we had to wait another million years before this stuff became an issue. You may be rolling your eyes, but let's just hope this little guy doesn't team up with the twelve-foot jellyfish and the shark that walks on its fins. Here is my favorite part of the news: "One of the adults laid a mass of eggs, just spotted Tuesday." The crawling fish are expecting. Wonderful. Let's get out there and have a great weekend, everybody. New Species Of Fish Discovered That Would Rather Crawl Than Swim (ENN)

New Brazilian Wax Still More Awesome For Dudes

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:18:10 -0800

Here's the good news: a new painless Brazilian Wax is quickly gaining international interest. Here's the bad news (at least for the ladies) - it's actually a Brazilian Wax for your car, and this new method is easing the strain on the environment. An ingenious brand called DryWash, based out of Brazil, has developed a way to wash every part of a car without using water or harmful chemicals. DryWash removes dirt from cars using a small pad infused with organic Carnauba wax. DryWash has saved over 100 million gallons of water since it opened in 1994. However, it has been gaining notoriety for more than it's environmental impact. Their technology and quality has yet to be replicated, prompting expansion to locations in Mexico, Portugal and Australia. And based on demand, DryWash has created a separate branch called DryWash Air that cleans helicopters and airplanes without using water. Now, if DryWash could just create new technology for that other Brazilian Wax (using like, cotton or bubbles or whatever) then they would probably win a Nobel Prize for something. Great Innovation: The Brazilian Waterless Car Wash (ENN)

Largest Beef Recall In U.S. History Poses Serious Threat To Nation’s Reserve Of Hot Pockets

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:22:32 -0800

A “downer” in meat industry terms refers to a cow that is diseased or injured and can't stand up. Sound delicious? Some employees at Westland/Hallmark Meat Packing Co. in Chino, CA apparently think so. That's how the Humane Society of the United States caught video footage of sick and injured cows being pushed with forklifts, dragged with chains and poked in the face with cattle prods to help them along to the slaughter box. It violates federal regulations to slaughter “downer” cattle, seeing as they pose a higher risk of E. Coli, salmonella contamination and everyone's favorite cow disease, mad cow disease. Two workers face animal abuse charges, 200 workers have been laid off by the plant, and 143 million pounds of beef are being recalled. The meat that, by absolutely any means necessary, made it out of Westland/Hallmark, was used by fast food chains and restaurants, in school lunches, and by the pre-packaged food industry in products like Progresso Italian Wedding soup and - most disconcertingly - Nestle's Hot Pockets. How our country will deal with the sudden removal of 49,264 cases of Hot Pockets from the market - known by analysts as Hot Pocket Shock - remains to be seen. Meanwhile, Westland/Hallmark remains closed as it appears complaints against the plant have been common for over ten years, suggesting that both the plant itself and the USDA workers charged with inspecting it were lax in their work. When confronted with questions about the systemic incidents of inhumane treatment at the plant, a spokesman said, “Think of it this way! Cattle that has fallen and been trampled by other cows on the way to the slaughterhouse are just pre-tenderized. Mmmmmmmm...” Meat Plant Concerns Raised For Years (USA Today) Recall Hits Packaged Food Giants (LAT)

"ERF" - Episode 1

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:35:30 -0800

Here it is - Episode 1 of my new web series "ERF", a feel-good comedy about eco-terrorism. Enjoy.

Memo To Threatened Species: Don’t Live Above Massive Oil Reserves

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 20:47:19 -0800

Polar bears just can’t catch a break. Their favorite drink – cola – is terrible for the waistline and ups their risk of diabetes. The Arctic is melting, forcing them to bunk with the in-laws. And with the Writer’s Strike still in effect, they may never know what happened to the rest of the polar bears on Lost. But at least the Bush Administration is considering protecting them under the Endangered Species Act. And considering. And considering. See, the problem is that the polar bears happen to live right on top of some primo oil-rich real estate, and therefore oil and gas leases have crept just slightly higher in G.W.’s inbox. High enough that the Bush Administration is planning to greenlight drilling in the Chukchi Sea, just off of Alaska and right smack in the middle of polar bear country, as early as February. So what can you do to help? It’s simple: click here to tell your Representative to support the Markey bill (H.R. 5058). It demands that the Administration stick to their promise – halting oil and gas lease sales until they make a final decision about protecting polar bears under the Endangered Species Act. It only takes a minute to add your name, and you’ll help in the fight to protect polar bears – both from immediate danger and long-term risks. This is pretty urgent so it’s hard to wrap this up with a joke, but I’ll try. What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal? A polar bear. Hilarious. Please click below and sign up! Save Alaska's Imperiled Polar Bears from Toxic Oil Spills (NRDC)

Trailer For New Web Series "ERF"

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 07:37:37 -0800

Sludgie Christmas Hero Award Goes To The Grinch

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:09:16 -0800

Christmas doesn’t just wreak havoc on your bank account and stress levels… it’s also arguably the worst time of the year for the planet. Think about it: there are millions of tiny lights wasting away energy, miles of wrapping paper that will just get thrown away, and tons of exhaust spewed into the air from holiday shoppers sitting idle in traffic for hours. Not to mention all the chestnuts roasting on open fires. No wonder the Grinch hates Christmas – after all, he IS pretty green. That’s why we feel the Grinch is the most heroic Christmas figure, environmentally speaking: he sews his own clothes from scraps, has a pathetic little dog that’s obviously a rescue, and lives alone in a cave like Alexander Supertramp. But for the rest of us who can’t live up to the Grinch’s high moral standard, the National Wildlife Federation has put together a handy list of environmentally friendly holiday tips. From biodegradable decorations like popcorn and cranberries to creative gifts like bird feeders, there are plenty of ways to celebrate the end of the year / birth of your savior / festival of lights / feast honoring African American heritage / Boxing Day (Canadians only) in a way that helps preserve Santa’s home for future generations of greedy children. Turn the Holidays Green : Earth Friendly Gifts and Tips (ENN)